The Barkery

THAI CHICKEN PIZZA > SEX

Do you like Thai food? Do you like chicken? Do you like pizza? Wish there was a way to combine your love for all three but don’t know how (because if you actually mixed a Thai dish, chicken, and a pizza together you’d probably end up with some sort of peanut-marinara sauce chicken mush)? Well look no further! The Barkery is here to help.

When dining out, my golden rule is: if you can make it at home, don’t order it. You can find thai chicken pizzas on the menus of a few hip pizza joints and eateries. Whenever you come across one at a restaurant, resist the urge to order it! Why? Because you can make it at home now!

I like to make mine with lightly sauteed red onions, sweet carrots, and crunchy peanuts. You could really go wild and add red peppers, eggplant, or any other vegetable that roasts well. This recipe includes the recipe for the best peanut sauce you’ll ever taste. It also includes recipes for the following things: success, fame, and winning over your boyfriend (and his parents).

Thai Chicken Pizza

Makes 1 large pizza

For the sauce:

1/4 cup creamy peanut butter

1/4 cup hoisin sauce

1 tablespoon honey

1 teaspoon red wine vinegar

1 tablespoon ginger, minced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil

1 teaspoon soy sauce

1 teaspoon oyster sauce

1/3 cup water (maybe more or less, depending on how thick you want your sauce)

red pepper flakes to taste

For the pizza:

1 pizza dough or premade crust*

2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

6 oz chicken, cut into 1/2 inch cubes

1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced

1/2 cup shredded carrots

5 scallions, slivered diagonally

1/4 cup peanuts, coarsely chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

2. In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, combine all sauce ingredients. Stirring occasionally, cook for ten minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

3. In another pan, cook the chicken for about 5 minutes over high heat, just until lightly cooked and browned.

4. Using about 2 tablespoons of the peanut sauce, coat the chicken thoroughly.

5. To assemble the pizza, place dough/crust on a baking sheet. Spread the sauce evenly over the surface and top with 1 cup of cheese. Sprinkle chicken evenly, and cover with 1/2 cup of cheese. Top with onions, carrots, scallions and peanuts. Sprinkle remaining cheese.

6. Bake for 10 to 14 minutes, or until crust is crispy and cheese is bubbling and golden brown.

*I actually have used two pocketless pitas/flatbreads as crusts in a pinch before, and they worked really well!

Bring one of these pizzas to your next social gathering. Make one for your next date night with your sweetie. Use one to bribe your friends to do hilarious things. This pizza will be at the top of your loved ones’ wish lists for years to come! Enjoy. xo L

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